


A Very Thorki Christmas

by Norse_God_Loki



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Christmas, Christmas Movies, Christmas Shopping, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Ghosts, Heartache, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Loki is a corporate asshole, M/M, Minor Character Death, Parent Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Spousal Abuse, Scrooged, Thor Feels, Thor works for homeless shelter, loki is a little shit, reference to minor character death, tiny tim-like child for Sif and Fandral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:08:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8851363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norse_God_Loki/pseuds/Norse_God_Loki
Summary: Based on A Christmas Carol, also based on Scrooged and other various versions of Dickens Christmas Carol. Loki is an intern for a television network and Thor works in a homeless shelter. Loki wants money and power, but that comes later in life. Thor just wants to be happy with Loki. He'd live in a three room apartment with him forever but Loki wants more. Ultimately, happy ending.





	1. A Painful Introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mylifeisloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeisloki/gifts).



> Thanks for reading. This is my first attempt at fic writing and I'm working my way up to smut. I rp it but can't seem to get to it here yet. Hang in there. For now, it's just fluffy Christmas lovey stuff.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's two nights before Christmas, and Thor meets Loki by chance. They hit it off.

Thor was getting the last of his Christmas presents. Nothing really, just some odds and ends to use to wrap gifts, some candy canes, tape and ribbons, but it was Christmas Eve eve, December 23rd and the little drugstore around the corner from his place had some great clearance sales so he was stocking up on other things too. By the time he was finished, he had two rather large shopping bags which he carried one in each arm and began backing against the shop door to go out into the very snowy night. He didn't get far when the door hit something... or someone to be exact, followed by a moan.

  
A thin brunette man had just stopped near the door to pick up his keys that he'd dropped in the snow and was rewarded by being bunked in the forehead with the shop door. Luckily, his hat took the brunt of the blow but he held his head with one hand as he stood up just as he heard a deep voice gushing apologies.

 

" _Oh god... I'm so sorry_! Are you alright?" the deep voice asked. Thor had set one bag down in the snow on the sidewalk and now his hand hovered near the other man's head. "I should have watched where I was going... _oh god_.. I'm sorry..."

  
"You said that already..." Loki moaned and finally took his hand away from his forehead and checked his glove for blood. "... it's okay. Really, I just..." he looked up and made eye contact with the most clear ice blue eyes he'd ever seen. They took his breath away and therefore, his speech.

  
"Are you sure?" Thor asked putting his hand on the stranger's shoulder.

Loki nodded rather stupidly. "Yes... fine." he heard his voice say.

Thor looked the stranger over, bundled up in a thick Pea coat, black gloves, a green scarf and ... that hat. His eyes matched his scarf, or vice versa, and his skin nearly matched the snow except for the rosy cheeks and nose brought on by the cold. Little strands of ebony hair poked out from under... _that hat._

  
"I think the hat is what saved me." Loki smiled and could feel a blush though it was too cold to actually see it. His face was already feeling the affects of the cold night.

  
"It looks .... _protective_." Thor smiled, his eyes going back to the horned decoration on Loki's head. "Are they... reindeer horns?" he asked, amused.

  
"Certainly not, " Loki replied, feigning offence. "They're ram's horns."

He reached up and patted the crocheted hat, and horns and pulled it around his head a little more. "I'm an Aries ... and ... it was a gift and ... it's warm." he gushed, now feeling completely embarrassed.

  
"It's a good hat... it's a good look." Thor nodded, still clearly amused by it.

Loki looked down at the ground again, still searching for his keys. "I dropped my keys..."

  
"And I nearly dropped you." Thor joked, helping to brush the snow away with his foot as they looked together, but as they both descended to bend down and look, they're heads met with a _thunk._

  
_**"OW!"** _ they said in unison and both brought a hand up to their foreheads in perfect time together.

"Sorry!" Thor moaned again.

"You stay here." Loki suggested holding one gloved finger up, "I'll go down there." he pointed with said finger.

Thor nodded and smiled. "Okay."

When Loki stood up again, he dangled his keys in front of him to shake off the snow. "Got 'em." he announced.

  
Thor grinned and leaned down to pick up his bag again. They stood awkwardly for a second, neither wanting to leave without knowing more about the gorgeous man before them but not knowing what to say now at such a chance encounter. One cannot simply ask for a strangers phone number based on literally bumping into them, can they?

  
"Doing some last minute shopping?" Loki asked, peeking over the bag,  hating that it was the best he came up with.

  
"Yeah... they're having a great sale so.. just stocking up." Thor replied.

  
Loki completely forgot about the cold. This guys smile was like pure sunlight and he just basked in it.

  
"Do you drop your keys on this block often?"

  
Loki giggled. Did he just giggle? "Try not to... first time I did it and look what happens." He rubbed his forehead again.

  
"Sorry... again. I hope I didn't hurt you.... " Thor said again, "or that _reindeer_ hat" he grinned wider, making the sun even brighter.

  
Loki laughed. "Nope.. I think we'll both make it okay." he replied rubbing the front of the hat again before trying to tuck a stray black strand back underneath it, only to make it worse with his glove.

  
So, should he just introduce himself or...?

 

  
"I'm Thor... " the blond blurted out and shuffled both bags into one hand so that he could reach a free hand out to Loki.

  
"Hi.. Thor..." he said the name like it was made of gold, "I'm Loki." and shook the other gloved hand.

  
"Nice to meet you, Loki." Thor said and the way he said his name made Loki blink... or maybe it was the massive snowflakes that were falling and hitting his eye lashes.

"Well... Merry Christmas.. " Thor said and wished he could think of something else to say or some way to ask Loki out , "... I should let you get going."

  
"Oh.. I'm just ... escaping the office holiday party." Loki shrugged, "you're not keeping me. I'm just stopping over there " he pointed to a café on the corner, "to get some take out and go home."

  
Thor looked over his shoulder at the café.

"Well... I could use a hot chocolate if you want some company for a few minutes." he suggested, trying not to sound too ridiculously hopeful. Loki was beautiful. He must have partner or... something.

  
"That sounds great, actually." Loki grinned, his eyes brightening just a bit more.


	2. Flash Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year later, Christmas Eve.

Thor and Loki had been dating exactly one year and one day , if you counted the night they met, which they both very much decided it counted as a first date. They'd been inseparable ever since that fateful night.

  
"In my family, we opened one gift on Christmas eve..." Thor said as he eyed up the gifts they'd just arranged under the tree.

_Their tree._

They'd both given up their tiny apartments and moved in together six months ago. Things moved quickly but it just seemed so natural that there was barely any discussion of it. Loki found the apartment, mentioned it to Thor over dinner one night and by that next month, they were moved in.

  
" _Oh_ , is that so?" Loki quirked an eye brow. "Well... in _my_ family, ... we didn't do that." he smirked and pretended to go about his duties of opening a book and kicking his feet up on the sofa. Thor stood and looked at him then the gifts again, knowing Loki would give in any second.

  
He was right.

  
"Okay... _ONE_!" Loki blurted out raising one thin finger.

Thor grinned and picked up a package for Loki and jumped onto their shared sofa with both feet, in a squatting position and put the present in Loki's lap.

"This one ...open this one first." he gushed.

  
Loki shook it, pretending to try to guess what it was, "Is it.... an assortment of dildos?" he joked.

  
"Stop it!" Thor laughed, "That's what you have  _me_ for. _Open it_."

  
Loki carefully, painfully so, unfastened the tape on each end, tormenting Thor with his degree of stalling.

  
" _RIP IT OPEN!"_ Thor demanded with a chuckle.

  
Loki gave the paper one good tug and ripped the face of the present open.

  
"Knives!" he exclaimed, with wide eyes. He's taken up cooking the past few weeks and always complained that they didn't have the proper cutlery for slicing and dicing.

  
"Do you like them?"

  
"I love them! Thank you! Now I can make tiny little thin slices of tomatoes and peppers...." he reported, gazing at the many different sizes.

  
"And cans.... they're not just any knives... they're Ginsu .. they can cut through a can, then slice a tomato paper thin!" Thor announced just like they did on the commercial for them.

  
Loki laughed out loud and threw his arms around Thor's neck letting the package of knives lay between them on the sofa. "I love it... thank you, baby. I'll make us something really great for dinner tomorrow... I have it all planned out. Okay.. now _you."_ he said and crawled off the sofa and onto the floor on his hands and knees.

Thor admired the view in Loki's flannel pajamas with snowflakes on them. "Ooo... is _that_ my present?" he cooed suggestively. 

Loki looked over his shoulder, "Shush you... later _... IF_ you're good."

Thor held up the package of knives. "I _have_ been. I never liked anyone enough to give them _knives_ before."

  
Loki crawled back onto the sofa with a heavy wrapped rectangle and plopped it into Thor's lap, carefully.

"I can use my present tomorrow... you can use _this_ tonight." he said softly and sweetly.

  
Thor weighed the package in his hand for a moment, pretending to guess anything but a book, which is what it definitely was. "Dildos?"

Loki gave him a shove, "Open it!" he urged him impatiently.

Thor unwrapped it unceremoniously. "The Kama Sutra" he read the title and raised both brows high as a big smile crept over his face.

"Have I been boring?" he asked with a smile still plastered on his face. Their sex life had been anything but.

  
"Nooo..." Loki purred and practically crawled into Thor's lap. "I just saw it and immediately got turned on... it's like ancient porn." he helped him open the book. "I want to try _that_." he pointed out and grinned.

 

  
"Oh... _that_ can be arranged... as well as _that...._ and _that."_ Thor continued to point to pictures, his lips moving closer to Loki's until they met. "Thank you... or should you be thanking me?" he murmured.

  
"Later.... I'll thank you _later_.." he purred and pulled Thor over him as he fell onto his back on the sofa.

They kissed until breathless, each working the other's pajamas off slowly. After completing at least three of the positions in the book right there on the sofa, they fell asleep for a little while before Loki finally stirred and woke Thor.

"The lights... turn off the tree. Let's go to bed." he mumbled sleepily.

 Thor slowly stumbled to his feet while Loki wrapped a blanket around himself and stood up.

  
"Merry Christmas, "Reindeer"." Thor whispered as he embraced Loki and scooped him up into his arms bridal style and carried him into the bedroom.

"Merry Christmas, Thor.... " Loki smirked at the nickname and murmured in reply, "love you." he managed to mumble as he curled into Thor's body and they went to sleep.


	3. Things Get Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As in most relationships, things get more complicated. This will be a little angsty but all will be well in the end... I promise.  
> Also, you can drive a train through the holes in the story if you're following the inspiration for it, so don't read it if this is an issue for you. ;)

By March of that new year, Loki was promoted to _assistant_ to the Assistant Producer of the network he'd interned for the year before. It meant more hours, more responsibility but also more money.

He and Thor celebrated by going out for dinner to a place much fancier than they could have afforded before. Thor felt guilty for it since he worked for a homeless shelter but Loki reminded him that there was nothing wrong with splurging a little now and then when they both worked so hard and could afford it.

"It's not like we do this often... or at all." he smiled and clinked his wine glass with Thor's. He spent a good portion of their night telling Thor all about his new job.

And his new boss.

"Mr Thanos said he's really impressed with me. He thinks I will be moving up to Assistant Producer in no time at all." he beamed. "If that happens," he rolled his eyes, "I'll be making twice what I make now! Plus..." he swallowed his wine and set his glass down, "I'll be traveling a lot.. the network sends the Assistant Producer all over the country.. _and over seas_! With what I make, I can take you along too!" he explained excitedly.

Thor smiled and nodded much of the time to Loki's plans. When he mentioned traveling with him, he frowned. "Lo... you know I can't really just up and leave work ... I mean... maybe once or twice a year... but.... that's all far in the future right? Let's just enjoy now." he smiled that disarming smile that always made Loki melt.

"Sure... you're right. I mean.. that's a long way off anyway." Loki shrugged.

 

 

But, it wasn't a long way off. Mr. Thanos, the Executive Producer of ASG-Direct Network was so impressed with Loki Laufeyson that he made him Assistant Producer by November. He took Loki under his wing and was a mentor to him, and soon after, a friend. Thanos invited both he and Thor to dinner at least once a week, over to his house the same, and took Loki on business trips with him to London, Los Angeles, and Chicago with the promise of Tokyo by year's end. Thor couldn't get away from work as he too was promoted to head of the shelter. He took his job as seriously as Loki took his, making less than half of what Loki made.

It was July when Loki had been invited to go on his second trip to L.A. with Mr. Thanos, who he now called Stanley as per requested by his boss.

"I really wish you'd go ...L.A. is so exciting, Thor. You'd really love it." he explained as he packed and Thor sat on the edge of the bed and watched him. "Last time, Stanley took me to this club... " he rolled his eyes as he tossed his swim trunks into the case, "just... unbelievable. It was amazing!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah, ... you told me about it when you came home last time. I wish I could go too, but... the shelter is so..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know... it's busy. It's always going to be busy Thor. There's never going to be a shortage of homeless people or people looking for a hand out."

"Loki!" Thor snapped. He furrowed his brow. This wasn't the first time Loki had passive aggressively put his work down or the people they helped. "Some can't _help_ it. Believe me, most of them would rather have a full time job and support themselves and their families,.. it's not like they _want_ to live at shelter... it's.."

"Then it's up to them to get a job and get on with it." Loki remarked as he nonchalantly closed his suitcase.

Thor frowned and stood up. He took Loki's case to the front door of their little apartment. They were on the second floor over a Chinese Restaurant. "Do you want me to carry it down for you?" he asked, his voice wrought with sadness.

Loki pursed his lips and smiled tightly. "Come on now... " he put his hand on Thor's chest and moved in close. "It's only three days." He trailed his fingers up Thor's chest and around his neck. "Give us a kiss." he purred.

Thor closed the gap between them and left several soft, half hearted kisses on Loki's thin lips. Loki reciprocated. When he pulled away, he looked into Thor's eyes warily. "Miss me?"

Thor nodded. "Always."

 

 

The next several months brought more of the same. When Loki wasn't working or traveling, he wasn't the same. Thor took on more hours at the shelter too, if only to fill in the gaps when Loki wasn't there. When he couldn't work, he went out with Sif and Fandral, their best friends. He went from making excuses for Loki not joining them to out right confiding to them that he feared how Loki's absence and changes to his personality worried him. They fought more often, and not over trivial things like toothpaste and who's turn it was to get groceries, but about real things.

"He barely speaks when he's at home. He's always working. When he does talk to me it's.... I don't know, his tone is different." he confessed to Fandral over drinks one night in their favorite pub. "He's so .... curt."

"I'm sure this is just a faze.... it's all new to him. He'll settle into the job soon and everything will be back to normal." Fandral tried, but Thor knew different. It wasn't just the way he spoke to him or the way he didn't look at him kindly with soft green eyes anymore. Loki was growing more and more hard edged. He never asked Thor about his work. When he did talk to him, it was about his work and Stanley and everyone at the network and the shows they were working on. Thor had little interest in it but he listened anyway, knowing it was important to Loki.

Their once vigorous sex life had diminished, too. They were down to about once a week, usually Sundays because that's when it was convenient for Loki, and it was lack luster at best. They fell into a routine and were going through the motions. When Thor tried to talk to Loki about it once, he was dismissive.

"Do you want to try something new from the book?" he asked one warm Thursday night in October, most definitely not their night for sex, but Thor thought he'd take the opportunity since Loki was home early this one night. Loki was sitting at his little desk, lap top opened to work related things and Thor gently wrapped his arms around his chest and kissed his neck. "We can try page forty seven..." he purred in his ear.

 

Loki didn't take his eyes off the screen or stop typing. "Umm.... maybe ..." he replied distantly, clearly not listening to what Thor suggested. "Could you get me that file I left on the counter?" he asked absently.

Thor backed away slowly then handed him the file as he watched Loki continue to type."Thanks.. just leave it there." he replied without looking up.

 

"Lo? Can we talk?" Thor finally asked, pulling up a kitchen chair and sitting down beside the desk.

Loki glanced over, "Hm? Sure....just let me.... finish... this ... one thing..." he trailed off.

 

 

Thor patiently waited. A full two minutes later, Loki stopped and pointedly looked at him. "Okay.. what's up?"

Thor ran his hand through his hair. It had gotten long. Well past his shoulders and he wore it down tonight, because Loki liked it down. He told him that once... a long time ago. "Are we ... okay?" he asked simply.

Loki's raised his brows. "Are we okay?" He shrugged. "Yeah, we're fine. Our bills are paid, we've got money in the savings... I'd say we're doing ..."

" _Not financially_... Loki... I mean... _us_." Thor for once interrupted him. "Are _we_ okay? You barely talk to me when you _are_ home, when you _do_ it's .... you're very _clipped_ with me. Have I done something wrong? Are you _angry_ with me?"

 

Loki shook his head. "No... I'm not mad at you. Don't be silly." he waved his hand towards him. "Look... I have to get this finished. Can we do this later?"

Thor nodded and looked down at his hands. "Sure."

Later never came. Thor went to bed at usual time as he had to work in the morning. He was woken momentarily when Loki came to bed at 1:00am.

 

They celebrated their second anniversary together by getting some quick take out from the restaurant below their apartment. Loki was distracted by phone calls and texts about work almost the entire time. In between phone calls they managed to have a conversation and eat their spring rolls.

"We're having dinner with Sif and Fan for Christmas Eve... at their place. I told them we'd be there by seven. That okay?" Thor asked.

"Sure... sounds good." Loki answered as he pulled his phone out and checked his Saturday schedule.

"I got them two bottles of that wine they like...and I thought we'd take dessert from the bakery by their house. I ordered a cherry cheesecake." Mostly because it was Loki's favorite.

Loki nodded. "Mm... a big one I hope." he smirked.

 

Thor had gotten him a little anniversary gift; a new knit hat with actual reindeer antlers on it this time. "A lady at the shelter knits. I told her about you and your hat when I met you..." he chuckled, "and she insisted on making this for me to give to you."

Loki laughed. Not a real laugh that Thor was familiar with. He hadn't heard that from Loki in months. Even his laughter seemed clipped and strained now. He'd not gotten Thor a gift. _'it completely slipped my mind with all that's going on at the new show but... I'll make it up to you baby.'_

Thor forgave him, as always. It was a gift _'just to have you to myself for the night'_

Thor took the hat from him and reached over to place it on his head. He grinned immediately at the absolute adorableness of it on him. It completely covered his jet locks now that they were short. He'd cut his hair months ago and was keeping it rather short now, much to Thor's chagrin but he never mentioned it. He knew it was more professional given his important title at the network.

"You look as cute as you did this night two years ago." he smiled.... _that smile_.. "Cuter."

"Thanks." Loki smirked and his phone rang .... again. He pulled the hat off and fixed his hair as he spoke. "Hi Stanley... yes.... absolutely... I can do that. Sure. Okay.. see you then."

Surprisingly, Loki didn't run off to work that night. They managed to spend the night together, had routine sex and fell asleep by 10:30. Thor considered it a victory. It was Thursday.

 

Christmas Eve, Thor was to meet Loki at the studio. The new show he was working on was going live tonight and he had to be there but could skip out if everything was " _running smoothly_ " by 7:00. Thor stood behind the cameras and watched as Loki snapped at camera men and charmed the performers into doing his bidding before having words with the head of operations and the director. _"Well, at the end of the day, it's my show, isn't it? So either do it like I want it, or go home and we'll find another in studio director to do it..."_ he snapped.

Thor's expression was despondent, knowing that Loki wouldn't be in the best mood during dinner tonight after seeing this display. He was pulled from his thoughts when Stanley slapped him on the back and addressed him warmly, "Thor! Good to see you." he announced in his booming voice. "Where have you been hiding yourself, young man? Still volunteering at that uh... "

"Out Reach Shelter... " Thor intervened, "And yes, but I work there." he answered politely.

Thanos' voice wasn't one to be missed and when he said Thor's name, he had Loki's attention. He was already on his way over towards them. "Hi baby... I didn't know you got here already." he commented.

"I'm glad you're here." Thanos interrupted before Thor could say another word. "Loki, I'd like you and Thor to have dinner with Adrian and me tonight. Now, I won't take no for an answer... Loki, I'd like to talk to you about something important. It's something that will affect both you and Thor's future." he said quickly and gave Loki a wink. He'd been hinting at promoting Loki yet again.

"That's very nice of you but we're..." Thor began.

"We'd love to!" Loki blurted out and gave Thor a cautionary glance.

"Wonderful!" Thanos exclaimed and slapped Thor's back again. "I'll have a limo brought to the front... meet you there and say, ... ten minutes?" he confirmed and checked his Rolex.

 

"Loki..." Thor said lowly after Stanley left, "we're having dinner with Sif and Fan... it's Christmas Eve.. "

"Yes! It's Christmas Eve, my darling, and I'm about to be given a very big gift by a very important man. Or don't you want me to become Lead Producer on the next big show on ASG-Direct?" His eyes were wide and his smile was not one that Thor knew to be authentic. "You don't think I can possibly turn him down, do you? This is _important_ , Thor."

Thor's expression went blank. This was the last straw. This had been happening much too often but... Christmas Eve? Loki had broken yet another promise. Over the past several months, the past year if Thor was to be honest with himself, Loki had increasingly grown colder towards him. He only lit up when Stanley Thanos was involved and even then, it was more about power and money than anything else.

When Thor and Loki had met, they were both poor but they were happy. They fell in love and had fun together doing seemingly nothing at all. When he thought about last Christmas Eve, he couldn't even recognize the person that stood before him anymore as that same person that was thrilled to get Ginsu knives as a gift. He hadn't had time, or desire, to cook at home for nearly eight months. Thor stood there staring at his lover. Loki was exquisite. Well dressed whereas Thor wore a simple button up shirt and blazer with jeans. Loki's shoes were leather and new and very expensive, whereas Thor's were well worn and purchased from the clearance rack at Marshalls. Even Loki's hair cut was expensive. Thor kept his long as Loki liked it, pulled back now in a messy bun but when he did have it trimmed, he went to a barber when Loki only went to 'stylists', now. 

But, it wasn't just the money. Understandably, Loki had to keep up appearances for his position but it was more than that. Loki himself had changed. He'd said too many unfavorable things about Thor's work, wondering why he bothered to work there at all when he was _'far too handsome and too smart to be working for pennies'_ , but it was never about the money for Thor. He loved what he did. He loved helping people and he was good at it. He went home at the end of the day sometimes frustrated but sometimes feeling like he made a real difference in someone's life. Loki had pulled away from not just Thor but their friends too. It seemed like they just weren't good enough to hang out with anymore. Beer at the pub was no longer suitable when he could have Manhattans at The Savoy with his new pretentious friends and colleagues. Loki enjoyed _things_ and _places_ and _work_  but he didn't enjoy his life... at least not with Thor.

Not anymore.

Loki was looking over Thor's clothes and about to make a suggestion that he visit the costume department for a proper jacket and shoes before Thor spoke again.

"Loki... maybe... maybe we should separate for awhile." he said softly. He couldn't even believe the words were coming out of his mouth. He'd thought about it... somewhere in the back of his mind, for many months but he'd never actually said the words aloud and now that he was, his heart was breaking apart in his chest. He certainly never thought it would be on Christmas eve that he'd be saying these words, if at all.

Loki's eyes met his again and he stared for a moment. "Is that what you want?" he asked, but it sounded more like a statement than a question. As if he'd been thinking it himself as well and was content to let Thor bring it up, though he was surprised he had.

"No.. it's _not_ but... I think it might be best for awhile. Til you're less busy with work and ... things settle down." Thor's voice was deep and soft but still on the verge of cracking. There was a lump in his throat that he managed to hold back.

"Well... " Loki sighed, "things have been pretty crazy." he nodded in agreement, all too easily Thor thought. "Listen... how about you go to Sif and Fan's and we'll talk about this tonight... I"ll maybe stop by their place on my way home.. okay?" he offered, half heartedly. Not a trace of concern could be heard in his voice.

 _ **"Hey... sir?"**_ a cameraman yelled in Loki's direction.

Loki's head snapped around to the man's direction and glared, " _Most_ people around here call me _Mr. Laufeyson_!" he snarled.

"I'm sorry sir.. er... _Mr. Laufeyson_.. but I'm new here... I just wanted to know where you'd like camera four..."

"I want _camera four_ in _camera four's_ position!" Loki snapped, pointing towards the floor to where it was clearly marked and walking towards this apparent idiot of a man that who's knows who hired. "Hang on.." he said to Thor in the same exact voice he just used on the cameraman and held his index finger up in the universal, and rude, sign to wait.

 

Thor backed away as he watched Loki berate the worker. He turned to leave through the double doors into the hallway, head low and heart breaking as he could still hear Loki's voice above all the chatter in the studio. He turned back one last time, still able to see his love through the sea of people that were pacing about in the excitement and expectation of the live show.

"Reindeer..." he said softly, "Merry Christmas." he all but whispered just as the heavy doors shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is left on such a sad note. More to come.... thanks for reading.


	4. Old Friends Die Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years later, Loki is a great success, based on what he considers success.  
> Thor is content still doing what he does best, helping people.  
> Oh, and there are holes in the story that you can drive a train through so if that's a problem, don't read. I start out with an outline then just veer off the tracks sometimes.

It had been 9 years since their break up.

At 34 years old, he was the youngest Executive Producer in the history of the Network. It was the last act of promotion that his late boss, Stanley Thanos, had appointed.

Loki was now _the_ top Executive Producer of eight of the top rated shows on ASG-Direct, soon to be ten by the beginning of next season should he have anything to say about it, and the most feared man within their highrise walls.

It was the day before Christmas Eve and he sat at the head of a table full of writers, directors, producers and one very irritating woman from censorship regulations... and she was a pill. Loki would have fired her a thousands times already but he had no say in that matter, and it gnawed him.

They were engaged in viewing the latest push for an advertisement for their latest series, a murder/drama though the advertisement read more like an action series and Loki was having none of it. He screamed and berated everyone in the room from the producer down to the assistant writer until everyone was literally trembling. He demanded that the commercial be reshot, _'immediately...as in yesterday_!'

One writer, a new guy, by the name of ... it didn't matter to Loki, .. came up to him after the meeting and made a suggestion. "Mr Laufeyson...." he began. Loki turned to look at him with furrowed brow and bewilderment. How dare this minion approach him. "...if you don't mind me saying so, sir, I think that they were going for more of an action packed sort of feel to the spot to get the younger crowd motivated into ..."

"I'm sorry... what was your name?" Loki sneered.

"Gordon... sir... Gordon Smallfish.." the man said as he pushed the rim of his glasses up with his index finger.

"Well... _Gordon_...  Gordon _Small_ -fish..." Loki scoffed, "I think you're on to something there." he nodded, feigning agreement. "I never thought of it like that... let me think about this and I'll get back to you within ... let's say... five minutes." he smiled, that large, fake smile he'd become a master at.

"Well, thank you sir... " he nodded. "... you know.. people told me that you were a little... _scary_ ,..." he laughed nervously, "..but I think they were wrong about you. You're _very_ approachable ... and.. well, I really look forward to working more with you, Mr. Laufeyson."

Loki raised a brow and nodded, his expression somewhere between bemused and amused. "Oh, as do I, Gordon.. as do I." he gushed.

"Merry Christmas , Mr. Laufeyson."

"To you as well.. Gordon... " Loki jeered, and purposely walked the young man out of his office where they were met by Loki's secretary, Natasha. She smiled at the young writer having met him earlier that morning. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Smallfish." she cooed.

"Tash..." Loki addressed her as he watched Gordon walk away. "Call security and have Mr. _Small-fish_ escorted out of the building... have his locks changed and desk cleared out before ten o'clock." he ordered as he glanced at his Rolex.

Natasha's mouth dropped open. "You're _firing_ him? But... it's _Christmas_!" she hissed.

"Shit.. that's right." he gasped, "Call accounting and have his bonus cancelled." he said flippantly. "Then come into my office with that list of ...whoever ... I need to send corporate gifts to." then turned and went back into his office and slammed the door.

 

 

 

At noon, Thor was scrambling to be sure that the turkeys that hadn't arrived for the shelter's Christmas Eve dinner would arrive by the end of the day. They should have been there by now and he was frantically making phone calls and juggling volunteers as they came in to prepare the meal.

After nine years, he was content with his position at the Outreach Shelter and was pleased that the charity had had it's best year yet in donations, however they still scraped by as the need for the shelter only grew.

Most nights, he stayed late. Tonight was no exception. There was much to do but he took a much needed break and went for a quick snack at the pub with Fandral.

"Why don't you come over tomorrow night and have dinner with us." Fandral suggested. "We'll get some wine... some cigars... " he announced, "maybe one of those cheeseca..." but stopped short of mentioning the cherry cheesecakes from Cuppacake Bakery. He didn't know why after so many years it had popped into his head but as soon as he began to say it, he remembered it was, had been, Loki's favorite. "One of those cheese platters... with the fruit and .."

"It's okay, Fan... " Thor chuckled sadly, "I've had cheesecake in the last nine years... I'll have it again."

Truth was, he hadn't had cherry cheesecake. It in fact _did_ remind him of Loki. It had been years since Loki moved out and after the first two, he claimed he was over it and even dated some people. The closest he got to a serious relationship again was four years ago, with Steve, a gorgeous blonde that volunteered at the shelter. He and Thor had much in common; mostly working out,  but it fell apart after eight months. Steve just couldn't keep competing the the _'ghost of Loki'_.

"Yeah... tomorrow night sounds great. Thanks." he agreed. "How's my little Tanya doing? I have something for her." he smiled. Sif and Fandral had the cutest little red haired girl, though neither knew where she got the color from. She was five years old now. She'd been born a month early and resulted in several complications to her little body but after lots of therapy and trips to specialists, she had been slowly improving.

Fan downed the last of his drink before he answered. "She's well... she has to go back to that specialist in a week to see if she's a candidate for surgery once her bones grow a little more... but you know, she's always in such high spirits. She's quite the little character... always has the doctors and nurses fawning over her." he smiled.

Thor chuckled, "I know all too well of her charms." Which was exactly why as her godfather, he spoiled her rotten and bought her gifts becoming a princess. He also did what he could to help with her medical bills, of which there were many. He didn't mind. She was all he had besides Sif and Fan. They were his family. "I've gotta get back to the rescue... those turkeys should be there by now." He gave Fandral a quick hug and wished him a good night. "I have a feeling it's going to be a very late night if we're going to have a dinner for three hundred people by tomorrow afternoon."

 

 

Loki attended no less than five meetings that day and then had to put in an appearance at a benefit for the museum, but not before telling Natasha that she had to work late because he would be be back by 7:00. She stayed until 7:30 before leaving a note for him that she had to get home to her mother to give her medication that she needed but would be in all he earlier the next day if need be. Loki arrived back at his office at 8:15pm, aggravated as usual that Natasha wasn't there. "No one understands what it means to work around here... " he muttered as he made himself a drink at the bar in his office. He was still muttering complaints to himself when there was a knock at the door.

"Finally!" he announced loudly, "Entre...I'm so glad you came to your senses Tash.. I have so much.." but he was cut off by an even louder knock that practically shook the walls. Loki nearly dropped his drink. "What the fu..." then another knock, and a rumble and flash of bright light that broke through the heavy oak doors of his office with a thunderous crash and set him back on his ass behind his desk. Huge shards of the doors flew through the room and ricocheted off the wall behind him, causing years worth of awards on the shelves and the television monitor to come crashing to the floor.

Slowly, as the dust and debris cleared, he got to his knees and peered over the desk as he opened a top drawer with his right hand and pulled out a handgun he kept there for just such an occasion, though he knew not what the occasion was. He pointed it at the cloud of dust that hung in the middle of the room. "I'm heavily armed... I called security!" he shouted at ... the cloud.

"If you're heavily armed, why do you need security, Laufeyson?" came a voice through the dust ... _a familiar voice._

Loki slowly stood, pointing the shaking gun at the apparition before him. As the cloud settled around him, he could see a full, three dimensional image, as grotesque as it was. 

Loki swallowed hard as he recognized the persona before him. "Thanos?" he whispered. "Stanley?"

"And here I thought you'd forgotten me..." the rotting corpse gurgled. He cleared his throat and turned back towards the bar. "Mind if I .... cleanse my pallet?" he asked as he picked up a bottle of scotch and poured it into a glass.

Loki was shaking, absolutely terrified but goddammit if he was going to let some nightmare, for that's obviously what this was, have any say in the matter. He must have passed out in his office and this was just some nightmare brought on by something he ate or drank. yes, probably that cheap champagne he had at the museum,  so why not make the most of it? He shot the gun at the back of the dusty figure and unloaded the entire magazine into it, all while screaming profanities at the top of his lungs. 

The figure failed to recognize it's fatal bullet holes it was now riddled with and casually turned and lifted the glass of scotch to toast Loki. "I don't mind the extra holes, but I must insist you're kinder to this scotch, Loki... it's rather old." he reminded him as he held up the now smashed glass bottle.

He downed the drink and it immediately made it's way through the open holes in his body and spilled to the floor as Loki gaped. With a smack of his dusty lips, Thanos put the glass down on the bar. "I miss that the most of all... that and the women.... but you never were one for the the ladies, were you, Laufeyson?" he scoffed.

"W-what are you.... you're.... you're ... d...d... dead." he stuttered slowly.

"Yup, five years, ..  who knew that you could have a heart attack doing that, hm?"

"Has it been that long?" Loki mocked, "I would have guessed.... _three_... tops." He looked at the corpse figure walking closer to him and backed away til his back hit the wall where he'd been standing behind his desk. "Okay.. I'll wake up now if you don't mind."

"Wake up?" Thanos barked, "My boy, you're nothing but awake. I'm as real in front of you as yourself. Like it? Because this will be you in a few years.... " he asked holding his rotting arms out for Loki to examine closer.

 **"BULLSHIT**!" Loki barked. "You're not _real..._ you're a nightmare... brought on by ... by sour caviar or ... cheap Korbel! By _stress_! The stress of this fucking live show and these insipid writers and..."

" **SILENCE!"** howled the ghost and all at once he was inches from him and grabbed Loki's wrist. The latter almost gagged at the stench of his phantom boss. This was one very goddamn vivid nightmare.

"I was once where you are now... a leader, feared by my underlings, adored by them .. I had it all .. and I treated people like garbage. I wasted my life!" Thanos lamented.

"Wasted?" Loki proclaimed. "You had power... money... you were a phenomenal success in business!"

"People.... mankind... should have been my business! Charity, compassion, mercy!  I was good to you because I saw what I could get out of you... you made me _millions_. The more successful I let you become, the more money I made, the more power I had.  I cared little for anyone, _except myself_. Now, in death, I am trapped to watch as you and so many other's like us make the same mistakes. I could have had a woman that loved me... I could have been happy with her and with my life but I always had to have more. You, the same. You _had_ someone that adored you... he was _good_ to you, and he was good to _all_. You tossed him away like a used rag because he didn't suit your desires for fame, and power and money. _Now_ look at you." Thanos growled. " _Alone_. Pitiful. Wasting your life as _I_ did."

"I'm alone because I _choose_ to be!" Loki hissed. "People _drag_ you down.. _hold_ you back... _you_ told me that!"

"Don't you understand!" Thanos barked and shook Loki. Parts of his body were falling away to the floor like bits of rotting garbage as he moved. Loki could hear Thanos' brittle bones cracking and breaking away and it sounded as putrid as the corpse smelled. "I'm here to warn you! You still have _time_ , Loki! You can change .... you dont' have to end up like me!"

Loki rolled his eyes and tried to yank himself away, tearing the apparition's fingers with him which stayed clenched around his wrist. He screamed and shook them off. **"I'm quite fine, _thank you_ , in the life I've chosen! Now I'd like to wake up! WAKE UP!"** he screamed.

The ghoul howled and shook the walls around him to which Loki again, fell back on his ass into the broken glass and metal on the floor. Thanos hovered over him and lifted his body from the ground with his own. Loki gaped but was unable to scream for fear itself. "You will be visited by three ghosts... " he howled. Loki's mouth moved but not a sound could come out as he defied gravity, hovering over his desk with the rotting apparition. "...the first will appear to you tomorrow... at noon. You can still be saved, Loki!" and then abruptly dropped him to the floor again. Loki's eyes shut and teeth clenched at the pain of hitting the floor from ten feet above. He winced and slowly opened his eyes, heart racing and breath ragged with the overwhelming fear and pain.

When he opened his eyes, nothing. The apparition was gone. The broken glass and metal, all gone. He slowly sat up, looking around the room to find it completely as it was. The doors were still on their hinges and the scotch and glasses back on the bar, untouched. He carefully opened the top drawer of the desk to find the gun, still loaded.

He heard a beeping sound, and looked to the phone on his desk, dialing itself as he watched. It was on speaker and the voice he heard after two rings was Thor's.

"Hey it's me."

"THOR.... THOR..." Loki grabbed the phone and gasped into the receiver. Thor's voice kept talking as if he couldn't hear him. "Thor... it's me.. "

"....so leave a message after the beep." Thor's voice ended and then a long beep.

Loki huffed, "Th-Thor.... it's me... it's Loki. Something ... has happened and ... I ..." he looked around the untouched room wondering just what had happened. It must have been a dream after all, but it had been so real. "... I mean, I don't know that anything happened but.. if you get this message, just.. call me as soon as you can." the panic in his voice evident as he rushed out the words, hands still shaking. "Call me at 990 4999. Okay? No, I mean...you don't have to. It's fine. I'm fine. Okay, Goodbye." He slammed the receiver down and picked up his drink and shot it back in one gulp. He checked his Rolex, and saw through teary eyes the blurred hands of his watch. 11:59pm. He must have fallen asleep. Hours had passed so he must have fallen asleep.  Wiping the wetness from his eyes and regaining his breath, he curled up on the leather sofa. "It was just a dream. Just a terrible dream. It's nothing." he tried to tell himself. But, the phone. How did the phone dial itself? Why did it call Thor? What had he done? He left him a rambling message. He'd have to find a way to explain that should Thor actually call back but.. he wouldn't. Loki convinced himself, he wouldn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come... thanks for reading.


	5. A Sight for Sore Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's frightful night is in the past, and he needs to get on with the day at hand, but last night's visions left him with a hangover the likes of which he's never known.

"Mr. Laufeyson?"

Natasha stood over the leather sofa in Loki's office and looked down at him, her hands full of messages.

"Mr. Laufeyson?" she repeated.

Loki's eyes opened, only slightly, and he moaned, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light of day.

"Mr. Laufeyson.... did you sleep here all night? I've been trying to reach you.." she looked around for his cell phone. "...there it is."  She stepped quickly to the desk and picked up the beeping, buzzing device. "You have 23 messages. Most of them me, I'll bet." She handed him the phone as he sat up slowly. "...and there's these... " she handed him the messages. He glared at her.

"Just leave them, Natahsa." he scowled and rubbed his temples his eyes squeezed shut.

"Mr. Hopkins is looking for you...  and they need you on the set as soon as..."

"WHAT?" Loki snapped his eyes open and sat up, then stood up. "Where? _When_?"

"He wants to have lunch with you at noon... but you know him, that means if you're not there by 11:30 you're late."

Loki checked his Rolex as he straightened his hair with his hand. "What time is it now... dammit! It's 8:30?!" he whined. "Why did you let me sleep ... dammit, dammit, _dammit_... " he growled as he paced around the room shrugging off his suit, yanking at his already loosened tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"I didn't know you were..." Natasha began to explain but there was no sense in trying to speak. Loki was frantically muttering orders to her to get his fresh suit from the closet.

 

Loki Laufeyson was a big deal at ASG-Direct, but there were those above him. Two to be exact. One was Tony Stark, a self-absorbed, smart-ass playboy that unfortunately, though he was all those things, he was smart. He knew his stuff and Loki _loathed_ him. Fortunately, he wasn't around much, always jet setting and working from all over the world, mostly from his private jet. He only actually attended two Executive Meetings in person per year. For that, Loki was pleased.

Mr. Hopkins was the man they _all_ feared. He was CEO and owned fifty one percent of the Network. This meant he could hire and fire on a whim and he often did. Luckily for Loki, Hopkins was fond of him. Not so fond though that he wouldn't replace him if he thought that Loki wasn't up to the task of his position, like for instance executive producer of a live network show that was going to go on the air in no less than eleven and a half hours from now. The fact that he was calling Loki to lunch on such an important day was .... _troubling_.

Natasha followed Loki around the room, answering questions while still trying to fit in the delivery of what she deemed to be important messages that had come into the office.

"Where are we having lunch?" Loki asked hurriedly as he tucked his fresh shirt into his trousers.

"Savoy." she answered, "where else? I'll have a car waiting for you by 11:15 but they need you on set. There's ... some issues." she said lowly, casting her eyes down.

"Issues?" Loki repeated as he froze. "What ... _issues_?"

"I think it's best you see for yourself... " she answered as she held out a glass of water and some aspirin for him.

He threw his head back as he swallowed the pills then rushed into the bathroom to wet his hands and smooth his hair back. She managed to get most of the messages out during the time in which he brushed his teeth.

"And you need to call back Rogers... and Fury has called twice... and ... oh, and there's three messages from someone named Tho.."

"I don't  have time for that now Natasha!" he snapped, spitting into the sink, cutting her off mid sentence.

He shoved his arms into the newly pressed jacket she held up for him and then fixed his tie as best he could. He'd deal with that on the elevator.

 He stopped at the bar and threw down a shot of Russian vodka. "I'm going to the set. Hold my calls."

Shoving his cell phone into his pocket and racing out to the elevator he hadn't even had time to think about last night. He used the mirror on the walls of the elevator to tie his tie and button his jacket, just getting the final look finished as the doors opened into the studio.

He was rushed upon sight.

"Mr Laufeyson!.... Mr. Laufeyson!  The set is ... Mr. Laufeyson, I'm from costumes and I need you to... Mr. Laufeyson, this scene isn't getting the right light on .... Mr. Laufeyson, could you sign off on these please... "

"ENOUGH!" Loki growled. "You, you and you.. over there..." he pointed , "and you and you.. ten minutes!" he yelled, holding both hands up to indicate ten minutes and to back off.

He met with each and every individual that was having _'issues_ ', and boy, were there issues. Part of the set needed to be completely rebuilt, one of the main actors was loosing his voice, the kids' wore their costumes out into the streets during break and came back covered in jelly donuts and powdered sugar, as well as many other eleventh hour problems that had seemingly come up over night. He was having a heated discussion with a representative from Advocacy for Child Actors by 11:00am. because two of the kids on set were too young to be working more than two hours at a time. 

"They're only nine!" the woman scolded, "You have them here at 7:00 am and not given them time to go to so much as go to the bathroom til 9:30!"

"Their parents put them here for a reason, did they not?" Loki argued, "If they could make the kind of money we're paying these little trolls then they wouldn't have to pimp their babies out to a major television network, now would they?" he growled back.

"Mr. Laufeyson!" she gasped. "Trolls! Don't you find that a bit harsh? How dare you...."

Loki barked orders at passing by actors and cameramen and contractors as he kept berating the woman before him, barely even looking at her. _"Harsh_? I was holding _back_!" he barked. "If _you_ and _they_ and their _mummies and daddies_ don't like it then I suggest you....."

Loki froze. He froze right there on the spot in mid sentence while the woman just gaped at him in a state of horror at how awful he was.

Right there before him, across the studio, he saw him.

_Thor._

Finally catching sight of one another, they stared at one another from across a crowded room for a moment, trying to look around passing workers and cameras moving  back and forth to obstruct their vision of one another for seconds at a time, but there Thor was. Smiling that smile... and waving.

"Excuse me.." Loki said softly, "Pete, do something with her..." he commented flatly to an intern, never losing eye contact with Thor as he shoved the woman aside and made his way towards the big blonde. They met somewhere in the middle.

"Hi." Thor said with a smile like an angel.

"Thor." Loki gasped and suddenly everything from last night came rushing back into his mind and he went pale, .. cold in fact. He swallowed hard and shook himself. "Hello."  He'd not eaten and he was stressed and that shot of vodka didn't help matters at all. His hand grabbed for a nearby pillar and he clutched to it, feeling his knees nearly buckling under him. Suddenly, Thor's hand was on his arm and holding him up. His very strong and very capable hand and it brought Loki back to life.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his smile gone replaced with concern.

"Thor.. what are you...."

"I tried to call you back but they said you weren't in yet and then I called again and they said you were busy... so I ... just came by hoping that they'd let me in the building.... " he began to explain.

"I called you." Loki said as if he was reminding himself of it .

Thor nodded, staring, taking in how much different Loki looked but yet the same. He was still beautiful, not that Thor would think he wouldn't be. "You did... you sounded... upset." His hand fell away from Loki's arm now that he felt the other man was steady.

Loki stared too, sensing the loss right away of Thor's hand on his arm.

"OH.. that... I just...." he shrugged and huffed a laugh.

There was a moment of complete silence between them as if the entire room stopped and fell quiet, though it had not... not by a long shot. The set was being rebuilt now and men were yelling back and forth to one another for tools, hammers were starting to bang nails back into place as well as electric drills humming through the studio above all the usual loud chatter that was going on between the crew.

"You look good... great actually." Loki finally said. "Have you gotten... _bigger_?" he huffed.

"So do you... " Thor replied, though he knew Loki and he did look stressed and a little tired, "you look great." his eyes traveling down Loki's body quickly and back to his dark green eyes. "Maybe... " he chuckled and shrugged, "... just more working out I guess. Maybe not bigger it's just... moved around." he joked.

"You shaved your beard.... " he realized, "I like it. Makes you look... so young. Not that you ever looked old.." Loki corrected himself quickly.

"Well.. I _am_ older so I'll take it as a compliment. You look exactly the same..." he noted, meaning it genuinely. Loki's hair was still as short as when he left Thor nine years ago but there still wasn't a trace of silver in it, and his skin looked just as translucent. The new lines and wrinkles around his eyes when he smiled only added to his beauty somehow, like little arrows pointing out just how perfect his eyes were..."which is also meant as a compliment." he added on with that bright, warm smile.

The one that made Loki melt.

It still did.

He had to just stand there and take it in for a moment before another word.

"So... what happened last night?" Thor asked and broke the trance.

"Last night? Oh.. nothing," Loki shook his head and cast his eyes away a moment, "it was just ... something I ate or .. some bad vodka or .. we really don't know yet."

"Loki..." Thor stopped him, "it's me." he said lowly. "That was the scared reindeer I heard." 

Loki grinned at the nearly forgotten nickname and looked into those ice blue eyes that gave off such warmth.

"I'm sorry I called so late. I hope I didn't wake you or.... anyone.... " he hinted, wondering if Thor was living with anyone.

"No..." Thor smiled, "I wasn't home actually.. I was still at the rescue. We've been so busy trying to get ready for the Christmas Eve dinner today. I was able to slip out for a little while this morning to ... well, ... I wanted to be sure you were okay.  And no... there is no one else. I'm ... still single." he said rather shyly.

"Mr Laufeyson... could you please..." a woman interrupted holding out a clip board with papers on it and a pen in the other hand.

"Is it not plain to see that I'm engaged in something at the moment?" he snapped at her, his expression changing from enchanted to sinister in a split second.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Laufeyson but.. I really need these signed so that.."

"Are you _deaf_ or just outright _stupid_?" he growled at her.

"Listen..." Thor began, "I'm going to get going... you're busy here. "

"No, no no... Thor.. wait." Loki gushed. "Just give me a moment..." and turned his attention back to the woman, grabbed the clipboard and scribbled his signature on it quickly in three places. "There... that should suit your needs, yes?" he grumbled at her and shoved her away. He turned back to Thor, who by now was frowning seeing that Loki had indeed changed... for the worse. Even though he still looked at Thor with that same sweetness he'd once known, his edges had become much rougher, his heart, colder.

Thor sighed curtly, "So ... you didn't mean to call me last night?" he asked, his voice wrought with hopelessness and perhaps a little disappointment if he was to honest.

Before Loki could answer, the worker's hammering became rather deafening. He looked over his shoulder, irritated, "Could you _please_... knock off the goddamned hammering for a minute! _Thank_ you!" he yelled.

 "Well..." Thor reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a card, "if it happens again, ... if you need to talk... you can reach me _here_. I'm hardly ever home."

Loki took the card and looked at it, "Out Reach Rescue. 44th and 8th Street" he read. Thor hadn't left. He was probably still living in their same little three room apartment over the Chinese food restaurant.  "Still trying to save the world, I see?" he smirked.

Thor looked around him and nodded in the direction of the woman he'd just sent away, "And you're still trying to rule it." he stated, though there was no venom in his words. Only a very matter of fact tone. Loki was the powerful man he had strived to always be. His words would nearly be unheard by Loki since the hammering started up again.

"COULD YOU _PLEASE_.... FOR THE LOVE OF _GOD_... STOP. THE. _GODDAMN_. _HAMMERING!"_ he turned around and bellowed yet again. Thor had started to back away and by the time Loki turned back, two of the cast members approached him just as workers walked in front him carrying a very large piece of the set, obscuring his view and distracting him. "What? One moment.. hold on..." he grumbled at the cast members and by the time the set piece had cleared, Thor had disappeared. "Thor?" he called out but he was gone. The woman from the Children's Actor's Advocacy approached him again, babbling something at him just as Natasha approached from behind and alerted him as to the time. "Mr. Laufeyson... it's 11:30... your car is waiting."  

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos. Means a lot to me.  
> More to come ... I hope to have to have it complete by Christmas Day.


	6. The First Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is cracking up.  
> He tried to forget about the visions of last night, they were only a dream, right? He was having a hangover the likes of which he'd never had, though.

Loki was frazzled. He entered the restaurant by 11:58am and was taken to Mr. Hopkin's table, his head still buzzing from his unexpected visit from Thor.

"Mr. Hopkins... my apologies.." he smiled and sat down, "... incompetent driver or I'd have been here earlier. I hope you haven't waited long."

"Nonsense Laufeyson.... you're right on time." the old man smiled and waved the waiter over. "What will you have?"

Loki raised his brows and composed himself a moment, "Uh... just water, please... " which gained an odd look from Mr. Hopkins. "Or rather... a _vodka_.. and orange juice." he corrected, and nodded to Hopkins. "I'm afraid I haven't had breakfast yet."

"You seem a little .... frayed, my boy. Are you alright? You look as though you've seen a ghost." his superior asked.

A ghost? Oh, yes, he'd seen a ghost. The memory of last night's vision of Thanos traipsing around his office with his rotting self seemed to come to the forefront of Loki's mind just as Mr. Hopkin's watch chimed the hour, twelve o'clock. Loki held his breath.

 _"You will be visited by three ghosts...the first will appear to you tomorrow... at noon."_ he remembered Thanos promising him.

"Oh... yes!" Loki gushed, "Quite alright. Busy morning, you know. Last minute details for tonight..." He exhaled, looking around the room nervously.

"Good. I trust we're ready then? There's quite a lot of anticipation about the show tonight. I stopped by the set this morning and things seemed a little... unfinished...."

Loki felt like he was coming unhinged and he struggled to keep his shit together right now.

"Oh no... no.. everything is _perfectly_ under control... I just came from there and...." Loki stammered for words, which was entirely unlike him. He usually had no trouble at all at smoothing any concerns that Hopkins had. He didn't have to try for very long. His stammering was halted by a slap on the back.

"Lokes!" Stark exclaimed. "Good to see you again! Good afternoon, Mr. Hopkins!" he reached across Loki's face and shook his bosse's hand before taking his seat on the other side of Loki.

"Stark." Hopkins addressed him, "How are you.? I asked Tony to join us for lunch, Loki... he has some thoughts on tonight's show that I thought he could share with you."

Ah. So that's what it was. Hopkins didn't think Loki was up to the task of completing the live performance tonight so he brought in Stark to... _oversee_?

" _Does_ he now?" Loki sneered. "I'm _most_ intrigued! Though.. it _is_ rather late in the game, is it not? I mean, to _change_ anything..."

"Not change, Lokes... just... _tweek_." Tony remarked, holding his fingers up before Loki's face and twisting them as if holding a key,  returning the slick smile.

Loki wanted to take him by his fucking throat and throw him across the room.. or better yet, smash him against Hopkins til they were both broken and bleeding.

 

"You're drink.. sir." the waiter announced and set the glass before Loki.

He was about to reply to Stark when he looked down at the glass and saw something moving in it. Upon closer examination, he saw something dark, and slithering. He gasped and looked up at the waiter. "What the hell is this?" he asked pointedly.

"You're orange juice and vodka, sir."

Loki looked back at the glass in time to see a small black snake slithering from it's edge and onto the table. He let out a startled cry shot back in his chair from the table, simultaneously picking up his napkin and pounding it on the table to crush the serpent. Those within ear shot and sight of him in the room fell silent, as did Hopkins and Stark, both startled by Loki's odd reaction to having a drink served to him. "What do you mean by this?" Loki hissed. "Did you see that?"

The waiter didn't miss a beat and picked up the glass and took it away, "Very sorry sir, I'll bring you a fresh one." though he knew not what was wrong with this one.

Loki looked at Hopkins and Stark and saw that they too hadn't reacted as though anything were wrong.  In fact they both looked rather shocked by him. He shook his head and blinked his eyes. "You didn't ... see that?" he asked.

"See what?" Tony asked. It became evident that only Loki had seen the orange juice snake.

"Are you ... feeling alright, Loki?" Hopkins asked. He sounded concerned but Loki knew all too well what he meant was that Loki wasn't well... at all.. and Stark's presence  at this lunch was undoubtedly for that very reason. His doubt that Loki could handle his own job.

"I'm ... fine.. fine.. " he brushed off and pulled his chair back into the table.

"Perhaps you should eat something..." Hopkins suggested, "I took the liberty of ordering us the cob salads."

"That sounds wonderful, actually, "Loki sighed with relief. Yes, he was just deprived of food and sleep and as soon as tonight's show was done, and he got some sleep, he'd be fine. Another waiter brought a tray to the table and placed the salads before Stark, then Hopkins, lastly Loki.  

Loki let out a scream that stopped everything in the room. Not one, not two but a _bowlful_ of small, black slithering snakes wound around themselves in his salad bowl. He jumped up from the table to the shock of his companions. "I.... I'm sorry... I think I just need... a little air." he muttered, a little breathlessly, white as a sheet and shaking. "Just... .some air." he repeated, trying not to faint or throw up as he hurried out of the restaurant and rushed into the street. The cold air immediately sobered him and he yelled for a cab.

"Taxi.. please.. TAXI!" he bellowed with his arm waving frantically. One seemed to appear out of nowhere but he didn't care and grabbed for the handle of the yellow cab. He scrambled into it and slammed the door behind him.

"Where to, pal?", came the gruff voice from the front seat of the cab.

"ASG Studios.... I think... I mean.. yeah, yeah.. just take me to my office... " Loki blurted out.

Loki hadn't really noticed that the interior of the cab itself was overly, and tackily decorated in Christmas decorations. Tinsel and colored lights were strewn across the back window and seat, each window had glittery snow flakes hanging from the roof of the car and the front dash was completely decked in garland, tinsel and lights. He hadn't really noticed because upon giving the address, the cab jolted into motion at a speed unnatural on _this_ street with _this_ traffic. They sideswiped two parked cars as the driver spun the car in a one-eighty and took off in the opposite direction he'd started out in.

"Jesus Christ you just hit those cars!" Loki yelled, "Oh my god... LOOK OUT!" he screamed as he looked ahead and saw an oncoming delivery truck. The cab swerved missing him by half an inch which seemed to amuse the driver to no end as he laughed aloud over and over again. When Loki hollered,  he mocked him and laughed all the more. He made a very sharp left down a narrow ally, tossing Loki abruptly to one side of the car. "Okay... stop... STOP.. let me out!" he screamed.

"Relax, Loki... enjoy the _ride_!" the driver said indifferently, and casually kept driving like a maniac.

Loki furrowed his brows and grabbed the back of the front seat and sat up. "How do you know my name?" he asked warily.

"I know everything, Loki....." the driver chuckled, then turned around in his seat and face him. " ya see.... I'm the _ghost_!" he laughed manically.

  Loki's eyes went as large as saucers. He looked at the identification card on the front of the dashboard with the man's photo on it, reading, " **Ghost of Christmas Past** " in large black print.  The man was grotesque. He wore a yellow and black checkered cap over his very thick gray hair that looked like something a 50's Rockabilly hoodlum would style. His face was large and shades of grey and green and purple, his teeth,large and stained, mostly likely from the thick cigar he held between them as he spoke and puffed away on it.

The driver was no longer even looking at where they were going. The ally was narrow and they were _speeding_ down it, ricocheting off the sides of the brick walls on either side, speeding towards a thick fog that once they entered, the driver came to a screeching halt. Loki was jolted forward and when he recovered himself, he looked out the frosted windows of the car.  They were on a snowy neighborhood street, at night, but every house was lit with Christmas lights, colored and blinking and festive. All the houses but one. One small brick row house among all the others, was dark. Only a flickering television light shown through the front window.

Loki gaped.

"Recognize it?" the ghost asked as he pointed up to the little house with his cigar in hand.

"It's.. it's where I grew up.. it's my house." Loki answered in bewilderment. "But this whole street burned down years ago.... I was... ten or eleven ..." he trailed off and spied the driver suspiciously, suddenly coming to a realization.  "Ahhhh... I know what this is... I know what you're doing...." he growled, pointing his finger at the spirit.

"Cmon... yer dad'll be home soon, Loki... It's Christmas eve." he commented as he got out of the car and opened Loki's door.

"Fine... fine..." Loki quipped, "I'll play along... sure. I know what this is... you're going to show me some heartfelt scene from my past and I'm supposed to get all gooey and break down in tears... _well, it won't work_! You understand that?  My childhood was not anything to reminisce about, you can be sure of that! Show the way... by all means..." Loki remarked as he trotted up the front stoop to the door, pulling his coat around him.

The ghost appeared out of thin air before him when Loki began to open the front door, stopping him in his tracks. "Yeah.. that's exactly what Stalin said.... but when he saw his _mother_.... " the ghost put his fingers before his eyes and made a gesture of tears falling, " _Niagra Falls_!" he mocked.

 

Loki followed him into the mudroom of his old house, a quick left and they were standing in the archway to the living room. There was a woman, long golden curls were tied up high on her head in pins and the back in curlers. She was sitting in an old, worn chair using a dim lamp beside her to see something she was embroidering. Loki's mouth gaped open as he stared at her.

"Mama." he whispered.

He had nearly forgotten how beautiful she had been. The television was blaring in the background, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer children's tv special, and the cushions and pillows from the sofa near the window were stacked into a fort with a quilt thrown over them.

"Loki... you're father will be home soon... come out of there my frosty." the woman cooed.

"I can't. I'll melt if I come out." a little voice answered.

Frigga laughed and put her embroidery down on the end table. She crawled over to the opening of the couch fort and peeked inside.

"Frosty? If I do my magic, will you come out? Then you won't melt." she urged him with smiles.

A little dark haired boy, no more than five popped his head out from the opening under the blanket and nodded, green eyes sparkling in the flickering from the television. "Yes." he beamed.

Frigga grinned and put her hands inside the blanket and took her little boy by the waist and began wiggling her fingers all over him til he was giggling and squealing. "Okay now,. that's enough magic ... you're safe to come out of your cave now Frosty." she nicknamed him, "Here's your hat." and she handed him a little black top hat with an embroidered flower stuck to it's side.

 

Loki watched, and the ghost watched him. "She was magical, wasn't she?" the spirit asked Loki.

Loki nodded but didn't take his eyes off the woman he'd not seen in almost 30 years. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

 

He was broken from his trance by a clattering and door slamming.

"Goddammit!" the man that entered through the front door growled, "those fucking kids! They've been sledding again on the sidewalk! It's a sheet of fucking ice!" He took his hat and coat off and angrily hung them on the hook in the hallway. He carried two brown paper packages under one arm as he entered the living room. Frigga had stood up and began taking the cushions apart and putting them back on the sofa, wrapping the quilt around Loki's shoulders as he sat cross legged in front of the tv.  
"What's for dinner, Frig?" Laufey growled. "What's this mess?" he inquired as she tucked the pillows back on the ends of the sofa.

"Loki was building a fort is all. Dinner is still warm. It's on the table." she gestured to the kitchen hoping to distract him away from the young boy.

Laufey went over to where Loki sat and tossed one of packages down on the floor in front of him. "Here Lo. Merry Christmas." he sneered.

"Is it a magic kit?" Loki asked excitedly and picked up the freezing cold paper bag.

"NO!" Laufey yelled, "It's a twelve pack of popsicles." He'd brought them home form work, a grocery store where he worked in the frozen food department. He tossed the other brown package to Frigga and she caught it. "That one's for you. Three pounds of choice ground. They were gonna toss it! It's out of date today, but it's still good..... as long as you make it by tomorrow for dinner." he announced.

"But... I asked Santa for a magic kit." Loki pouted.

Laufey glared down at him. "Well when you get a fucking job you can go buy yourself one, now _can't_ you?" he growled. "There's no such thing as  _magic_..." he growled, "... if you want something in life, you better learn to _work_ for it. That's all I hear all day..." he sounded off, turning back towards his wife, "...people always wanting something for nothing. Always looking for a handout." he grumbled as he followed her out to the kitchen. "Those waste of space losers were at the store again today looking for left overs. I'll be damned if I'm gonna give over free food to those lazy assholes! Let 'em get a job and work like I have to do. I don't like it either but that's the way it is... " he trailed off and Loki sat looking down at the melting bag of popsicles on the floor before picking them up and taking them to the kitchen for his mother to put away in the freezer.

"Can I have one now? A blue one?" he begged.

Frigga was about to give him one but she was cut off abruptly by her husband. "It's time for bed. Get upstairs." he hissed at him.

"But, Daddy... Rudolph is on..."

Laufey lunged from his chair and grabbed for the child. Loki squealed and ran upstairs, past adult Loki and the ghost who had been invisibly watching the whole time.

 

"You went up to bed and pulled the covers over your head to keep from hearing what came next, didn't you? Like you always did.." the phantom inquired.

Loki's eyes were full of tears and when he blinked, they ran steadily down his pale cheeks.

"Niagra Falls, Frosty." the ghost whispered near his ear.

 

"She left him a year later... " Loki said quietly, as he stared of into the kitchen, "we moved in with my grandparents."

"She died when you were nine... " the ghost continued, "... they suspected it was him."

Loki held back the choking lump in his throat.

 

"He disappeared after she died. My grandparents raised me after that. They died within months of eachother right after my seventeenth birthday."  Loki sobbed. He managed to stay under the radar of Children and Youth after that, getting a job and going to college on the money that his grandparents left for him. He'd been on his own ever since then... until...

until he met Thor.

"Take me away from here!" he snapped out of his despair. " _Fuck you for showing me this_... fuck you for _bringing_ me here. I raised myself up from this mess... I'm not _anything_ like him." he growled and shoved past the ghost and out the front door where he promptly slid on the ice and fell flat on his back. When he opened his eyes, he was being helped up by a strong hand in his and another around his back.

"I told you not to rush!" Thor chuckled. "Are you alright? Did you hit your head?"

Loki stared at Thor, stunned. He had a fuller beard and long hair tied back in a pony tail with ear muffs, big fuzzy red ones, the one's Loki gave him for his birthday. He stood up and recognized where they were but now he was watching himself and Thor... he wasn't there with him anymore. The ghost stood beside him.

"What is this?" Loki asked flatly, even though he already knew. He looked up at the Chinese lettering on the neon sign above them, and then up at the second floor windows adorned with electric candles in the tiny windows. He could just make out the Christmas tree lights in the corner of the window.

"Your second Christmas together... it's your one year anniversary... remember..." the ghost began to explain.

"I recall just fine, thank you! I want to know why you're showing me this!" he snapped. It was painful enough to relive one night of his childhood, why did he have to go through a nearly forgotten memory of Thor, too?

"Turn around." the ghost ordered him. "If you don't like that memory, just turn around."

Loki scowled at him and did so, turning his back on the phantom, but when he did, he was looking at another unwanted scene. Christmas Eve, nine years ago, on the set of the show Loki was working on at the time. He watched as Thor's heart broke as Loki turned him down for their dinner plans with their friends to attend a dinner with his boss, Thanos, instead.

"Oh my god... you _asshole_!" he screamed at his past self. "Look at him!" he pointed to Thor, leaving the studio. "Go after him!" he screamed. "What are you doing?"

"They can't hear you, moron.." the ghost laughed, these are just like... re-runs you're watching.. not a live show, you idiot!"

 Getting no reaction from his younger double, he ran after Thor, throwing open the double doors to the hallway. "Thor.. THOR! Wait... stop!" he yelled after him but he was met with people staring at him. "Did you see him? Did you see a big blonde god-like man go this way?" he asked hurriedly.

"N-No... I'm sorry, Mr. Laufeyson... who are you looking for?" answered one of the wide-eyed interns.

Loki suddenly realized he was back in the studio, on set... in the present. Tony Stark was approaching him.

"LOKES!" he barked and came at him, slapping him on the back. "Where ya been buddy? We were looking all over for ya.. you were pretty green around the gills there at the Savoy... you feelin' better?"

Loki brushed Tony's hand away adamantly. "Don't touch me, please.... what's going on here?"

"Hey everyone... let's take dinner... that's forty five for dinner, back on set by 5pm, okay?" Tony bellowed into a megaphone and everyone began clearing the studio.

"Excuse me?" Loki snapped. "I'm the producer here.. this is my show... what the fuck do you think you're doing calling dinner?" he growled.

"OH, I'm sorry." Tony remarked, "You can call dinner then.. HEY everyone... Loki has something to say... everybody hold up." he yelled and put the megaphone to Loki's lips. "Go ahead... " he urged Loki.

Loki glared at him. "We need to talk." he said softly, ignoring the megaphone at his mouth.

"Hey, I'd love to, Lokes, but ... I gotta make a few phone calls and ... frankly... "he leaned in and whispered in his face, "I gotta take a wicked pee. But,.. I'll take you up on that talk a little later, yeah?" he said as he backed a way and gave Loki the thumbs up.

With that, he was gone, the set was cleared and the lights began to go out on set.

"HEY!!" Loki yelled. "I'm still here! Turn those lights on!" he ordered angrily.

The last of the lights on set went out leaving him in complete blackness.

 

"Fuck."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving your kudos. I hope you're enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.


	7. The Second Ghost

Standing alone in a blacked out studio wasn't exactly great for Loki's state of mind right now. He'd never been much of a fan of the dark to begin with, but at least the darkness part was about to change.

A large spot light clicked on and placed a circle in the middle of the floor just inches from where he stood.

"Thank god." Loki muttered and looked up towards the control booth. "Turn the lights on please, so I can see my way the _hell_ out of here." he grumbled.

"You're _right_ where you need to be, Loki!" came a sweet and childlike voice from above.

Loki threw his head back and looked up. "Who's there?" he snapped.

"Who do you _think_?" she answered and more tiny lights appeared and danced around the room as she floated down to the middle of the spotlight. She was small and petite, at least half Loki's height. She grinned up at him with a big, childlike smile. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present!" she proudly announced.

Her lips were cherry red, her cheeks rosy. Her eyes were light but her hair lighter. It looked like spun gold vines gathered up on her head. Atop her hair, was a shimmering crown of jewels of many colors. She wore what looked like a vintage prom dress, with a heart-shaped bodice, big silk sash tied in a bow and a long flowing skirt of several layers of tulle that all sparkled, and from her back stretched long, luminescent wings, that of a fairy.

"I never saw a ghost with _wings_ before." he remarked flatly.

She giggled. "Ohhh... Loki.. how many ghosts have you actually _seen_?"

Three too many, he thought.

He pursed his lips. "Alright ... get on with it then, _ghost_! What will _you_ show me... some present day Christmas party that I'm missing or  some ridiculously destitute family all gathered around a pitiful evergreen pining for the latest video game?"

"Oooo... a party? I love parties!" she giggled and began to twirl and dance around in the shimmering little lights that danced with her. She waved her arms and added bubbles all around them.

Loki swatted at them. "Stop it... stop it!" he barked.

"Oh, you're so _grumpy_!" she remarked sweetly and floated up to him and bopped him on the nose with her finger as one would do to a child. "Okay... close your eyes...." she said.

"I'm not closing my eyes...."

"CLOSE YOUR EYES!" grabbing his ear lobe and pinching it between her fingers,  she barked back in a completely different and rather demonic voice.

"OW!" he screeched, Loki shut his eyes, huffing through his nose.

"Now..." she began sweetly , "Think of preT-ty things.... butterflies... and puppies... whiskers on kiT-tens..."

Loki squinted open his eyes.

"No .. PEEKING!" replied the demon voice again and she nearly poked him in the eyes with two of her little fingers before he shut them tight again.

"Now..." she continued sweetly, "think of moonbeams and snowflakes on eye lashes... "

Somewhere in Loki's mind, he had apparently stored away a vision that came back to him now... of Thor one night out in the snow as they walked home and the tiniest, fluffiest snowflakes were gathering on his eye lashes and beard. He almost smiled at the memory but was abruptly awakened from his pleasant recollection by a harsh slap to his face.

"Now OPEN your eyes and look!" she announced as she slapped him.

His hand clutching his jaw, he glared at her. "What ... the fuck... **_did you do that for?"_   **he growled.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around to see that they were standing in Fandral and Sif's living room. Thor was there and they were all kneeling down by the Christmas tree around a little girl, no more than five years old, in a wheel chair. They were laughing and cheering her on as she opened gifts.

"Tank you Uncle Tor!" she squealed as she hugged the plush unicorn to her chest.

"You're welcome, princess." Thor smiled... no, actually he was beaming.

"Uncle?" Loki repeated, confused. Thor had no siblings.

"He's her Godfather... that's Sif and Fan's little princess. Thor helps with her medical bills. He works as many hours as he can and takes odd jobs when he can just to help out." the fairy ghost explained.

"Whatever _for_? It's not his responsibility? It's not _his_ child." Loki scoffed.

"Well, because he has a _heart_ , of course. Or have you forgotten about that?  Sif and Fan are his best friends. They and that little girl are all he has ... he _wants_ to help. She _adores_ him." she said and watched as the little girl beamed bright smiles up at Thor.

 

Loki watched them for a moment. Thor looked so happy, so natural with the child. He remembered in the last year that they were together that Thor talked , or tried to talk to him, about getting married and adopting a child. Like everything else, Loki put him off, .when _we're in better financial shape, perhaps_ ,' or _'once I'm in a better position at the network'_ , or _'we'll talk about it later._ ' were always his responses.

Thor had bought a ring that last Christmas. He'd planned on proposing to Loki on Christmas morning. Instead, they broke up.

 

"I didn't know Sif and Fan had a kid." he said to himself as he continued to watch them laugh and play with her. "Is she... very unwell? Will she not walk?" he asked the ghost.

"Maybe.... " she replied flippantly, "She needs a surgery. It's risky and very expensive. If she's a good match for the procedure, she could walk by the time she's eight or nine. Now, come along.. we have other places to see..." she urged him and grabbed at his sleeve. He looked away for a split second and when he looked back, it was later... Thor, Sif and Fan were all sitting around the coffee table with drinks and playing a game... Loki's favorite game, Cards Against Humanity. He and Thor, when they played it together, managed to make it a strip card game. They never made it very far into the game for this reason. When it was Thor's turn, Loki walked up behind him and checked his cards.

"Ah..." he grinned, " _that_ one... _that_ one is worth his pants." he remarked, pointing to one of the cards in Thor's hand. " _If_ he was playing with just _me_ , that is." 

Thor started to pick that card but at the last second, changed his mind.

"What?" Loki squawked, "clearly.. mine was the better choice."

They looked on as the friends played, laughing and teasing one another. Loki's smile was wide and his eyes remained so fondly on Thor. Sif excused herself to check on the little girl who was now in bed. Thor took the opportunity to pull something out of his pocket and put it on the table before Fandral. A small black box.

"I'd like you to use this to help pay for her surgery." Thor said softly. He'd been waiting for the chance to talk to Fandral alone. Fan spied him suspiciously and picked up the box and opened it.

"Oh... Thor... NO... no, no..." he snapped the box shut.

"Please... " Thor insisted, "I know it's not much but... you can probably get a few hundred for it."

He'd paid $510.99 for it nine years ago. On sale. It was a lot of money to him then. It was a lot now, too.

Fandral pressed the box back into Thor's hand. "No." he said affirmatively. "Besides....hocking engagement rings is bad luck. Save it to put on the finger of someone that deserves your greatness."

"C'mon, Lo... time to go.... OH! That rhymes!" the ghost chirped and took Loki's arm.

Loki yanked away from her harshly. "Not yet... " he snapped. He couldn't take his eyes off of Thor. He looked at the little box in his hand and then back at Thor. "He... was that?" he pointed to the ring box in Thor's hand.

The ghost let go of his sleeve and grabbed him by the back of the neck. "Let's **_GO_**!" she growled at him, then gleefully smiled and gave him a good shove to make him fall flat on his face.

Standing up and wiping his fingers across his lips to be sure he wasn't bleeding, he grit his teeth. "How _dare_ you... that was _hardly_ necessary...." but then he looked up and around him. "Where are we?"

The large room that held nearly two hundred people in it was full of chatter, happy chatter and the clanking of utensils on plates, and the aroma of food. Turkey and potatoes and vegetables and fresh baked bread. This was the largest group that the Outreach Shelter had fed to date and though they had just barely enough to go around, they were thankful for it.

"This is the Shelter's annual Christmas Eve dinner.... " the ghost announced as she bounced and clapped her hands gently together, "Look how _happy_ they are! And there will be _presents_! For all the children... Thor made sure everyone of them would get a little something."

Loki looked over the room, stepping closer to one of the tables to get a better look. "It's not much... only a tiny piece of meat for each plate." he observed.

The ghost came prancing up behind him and he winced a moment, expecting another slap or kick or pinch. "Oh, but they're happy for it. For some of them, it's the first real meal in weeks... and for some it's their first real Christmas in years... maybe ever!" she reminded him. She wasn't the Ghost of Christmas Past so she wasn't allowed to remind him of his Christmases as a child, but she didn't need to . Loki remembered them all too well.

His father, often drunk, yelling at his mother, or him, verbally and physically abusive to them both. They had enough money to eat and get by but his father often spent too much on gambling and drinking to give them any kind of a decent holiday. Once they moved in with his grandparents, his mother worked and scraped to get by too as she didn't want to dip into her parent's savings. Once she died, Loki didn't care much to celebrate holidays. Til he met Thor, of course, who was like Santa Clause and sunshine wrapped into one lovely bundle.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos.  
> I"ve been working extra hours at work this week then got hit with family crisis two days before Christmas and I'm exhausted so it's been difficult to update as I wanted to.


	8. The Third Ghost

When Loki turned around to address a question to the Ghost of Christmas Present, he was alone, and standing in a park. He looked around to recognize that he was in the city's park where he'd often walked, with Thor, as a shortcut to their apartment from the shelter. Everything was snow covered, the fountains empty except for the frozen puddles that remained in them. The wind had kicked up and he wasn't dressed for being left out in the cold in merely a suit jacket.

"Well that's just perfect... just perfect!" he growled. He looked up to the skies and yelled, "PERFECT! Just leave me out here!" he looked down at his expensive Italian shoes covered in snow. "Dammit!"  He began trudging through the snow back to the end of the park, back to the shelter. He'd had just about enough of this nonsense and was now convinced that whatever it was in his mind that brought on these intense nightmares he was living through was a result of unresolved feelings, or memories of Thor. All the way there, he muttered his one sided conversation to Thor;

"It's certainly no fault of mine, ...just because I wanted more of my life, ... if you'd just given me time to sort things out we could have gotten married... why did you have to rush things so much? Wasn't it enough that I loved you? I needed to work... I couldn't just be another dead beat for you to look after..... like one of those pitiful creatures you immerse your time and energy into.... if you'd just waited... we could have such a wonderful life now.... not living in that hovel of an apartment over that stinking restaurant... no... you could be living with me in a penthouse.... we could have been happy.... but no... you had to pressure me to chose.... "

By the time he reached the steps of the shelter, he was trembling so hard his teeth were chattering. He barged in, his suit jacket pulled tightly around him as he shook the snow off his shoes. A woman immediately approached him with a blanket and draped it over his shoulders.

"Ohh.. poor dear... come in here and get warm... sit right over here and I'll get you a hot coffee." she urged him.

"Never mind that..." Loki he attempted to say with teeth chattering, pulling the warm blanket around him, "where's Thor? I want to talk to him."

 

The woman looked at him with furrowed brow, "Thor? Thor who, honey? Were you meeting someone you know here?"

"THOR... " he barked angrily, "Thor ... your _boss_? Or whatever he is here.... Thor Odinson.... he's worked here for years! Are you _new?"_ he asked irritably.

She shook her head. "There's no Thor here, darlin'. I've worked here for ten years... Do you mean Tom? There's a _Tom_ here for quite a while... he's right over there." she pointed to a thin, light haired man dressed all in black, serving coffee to a group of older men.

Loki glanced but shook his head, "No... don't you think I know who I'm asking for? If I meant _Tom_ would I say _Thor_?" he snapped.

Glancing around the room after she had convinced him to sit down and warm up, he looked for Thor... but saw no trace of him. Minutes later, Tom brought him a coffee and greeted him with a warm smile and sat across from him. " Hello... I'm Tom...would you like a coffee?"

Loki grimaced at the cardboard cup of sludge the man offered, ignoring the question, "Do you know Thor? I need to see him right away."

Tom's smile faded only slightly, "I'm afraid I don't, I'm sorry."  

"He's worked here for at least ten years.... " he growled and stood up, "Never mind..." he said tossing the blanket off and into Tom's hands.

"Wait... " Tom said as Loki began to storm away, "Please... take a coat if you insist on going back out." he followed him towards the door and grabbed a used black coat from a rack of donated clothing, "Please... you'll freeze out there."

Loki took the coat reluctantly. He didn't want to wear the out of style, used thing but .... it was rather cold out.

"When you come back, we'll be serving a meal at six." Tom informed him.

"Come back? I'm not coming back, you fool!"

 

In the street, Loki tried to find a cab. He hailed no less than four, all of them passing him. "Goddammit! Am I fucking invisible here?" he yelled at the fourth one that passed.

He searched his suit for his phone to call Natasha for a car to be sent for him, not finding it anywhere on his person. He stepped into a drug store to get out of the wind and better search his pockets but came up with nothing. In fact, he came up with nothing at all, no wallet, no keys. His pockets were empty.

"Fuck!" he hissed and hurriedly started back towards the shelter. He'd been robbed!

Tom was at the door to greet him with a warm smile once again.

"Alright... very clever pick pockets you have here....was it you or that woman?" Loki snarled. "I want my wallet, my phone and my keys!"

Tom's smile didn't fade a bit. "Of course you do, Loki... come with me please." he said without waiting another moment and walked away from him.

Loki hadn't noticed that he'd called him by name but stalked after him "Is this what you do here.. steal from those that seek shelter?" he asked behind Tom's back as they walked towards the other end of the large room. Tom stopped and opened a door and ushered Loki to enter before him.

Thinking that he was entering an office, Loki stepped inside and found himself walking right out into the snowy street again. "Hey!" he barked and turned to berate the shelter worker that had most likely tossed him out the back door, to find him standing there behind him, wearing a black cloak over his black clothes. What was more bizarre was that the building they'd just walked out of was gone. They were on a different street, one that Loki knew but was several blocks from where they just were.

"If you'll step this way Loki... I believe you were looking for Thor?" Tom asked politely, still smiling.

Loki paused. "Let me guess.... you're the third." His eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. "Well good... get on with it... if you're the third, then you're the final and we'll be done, yes? "

"Of course. As you wish." Tom replied sweetly. He began leading Loki to a nearby café. "You see, Loki, ... the reason you have no identification, keys , etcetera, is because it's the future... I of course am the Ghost of Chris.."

"YES... I get it.. the Ghost of Christmas Future.... I'm not an idiot, I know how this works...." he snapped, "... so where pray tell are you taking me?"

Tom stopped and turned to face him. "Right here, actually. Is that who you're looking for?" he asked, gesturing to a blonde man sitting at a table.

Loki rushed over to the table and sat down across from Thor. "Thor... thank god... I need to talk to you... you said if it happened again I could call you , and well... I don't know if I'm loosing my mind or just... look, I need you to ...."

"Hi baby..." Thor's eyes lit up and he smiled, but he was looking right past Loki, right through  him. "There's my girl... all ready for your lunch?"

Loki gawked wide-eyed for a moment before turning around and finding another man, holding a little girl in his arms that he'd just brought in the door. The other man was tall, also blonde, well built and handsome but had a scowl on his face when he handed her down to Thor. "All yours." he remarked sharply at Thor, "Have her back at my place by Sunday night... no later than eight... I have someone coming over and I want to get her to bed before that."

Thor nodded curtly at him. "Sure .... I don't mind keeping her and night if you have plans..."

"Yeah well , that would be good... thanks." the other man said and gave the little girl's hair a tossel. "See you later, kiddo. Here's her canes," Steve added, "she refuses to use them at all anymore."

"That's because she's growing out of them.." Thor replied with a wide grin, happy that Tanya was walking almost entirely on her own now.

"Bye Steef." the little girl waved and turned her attention back to Thor. "Hi Uncle Tor.. I want fwench fwies."

 

Loki watched all of this in disbelief. "Who is this?" he asked Thor, as if he could be heard. "Did you.... who was that?"

"For not being an idiot, you surely act like one at times, do you not?" Tom huffed.

"What's going on here?" Loki demanded as he stood up and face the hauntingly pale man.

"Thor married Steve... someone he dated for some time after you left him. He convinced him... and _himself_ , that he'd be happy with him because he so desperately wanted to get over you. He thought if he finally married and moved on, that would happen. They legally adopted Tanya after Sif and Fandral died in that awful accident last year. Tanya was in it too, but ... she survived. Her parents were just so exhausted from driving back and forth to that specialist that they _could_ afford, Fandral fell asleep at the wheel." he added sadly. "Unfortunately, Steve and Thor divorced shortly after, so they now share custody only because Thor has to work so many hours during the week." 

Loki's mouth fell open. This was more information in one sentence than he could handle. He turned back to look at Thor, bouncing the little girl on his lap as they looked over the menu and he bargained with her to get some steamed veggies to go with her French fries. "You fool..." he whispered. "...why did  you not just ask me for the money... they could have sent her to a specialist right here in the city."

"He might have... had you not been so indecently rude to him when he last saw you." Tom remarked sharply. "But come along... there's more to see."

"I really don't want to see more... please... I'm exhausted and ... overwhelmed... I just want to go home and .... sleep this off." Loki turned back towards the ghost and was compelled to follow him, not wanting to see more but not wanting to stay here either.

 

 Tom lead him back out of the café and into the street again. "Do you recognize that man?" he pointed out as the man walked past them.

Loki did indeed. It was the man he'd just had fired yesterday, Gordon Smallfish, but he looked older, and homeless. He was wrapped up in a heavy coat and wore thin shoes that weren't meant for the cold weather. His hair was long as was his beard and he stopped at the corner and begged for change.

"Thanks to you," Tom began, "he couldn't find suitable work. You left him no letter of reference and the only job he could get wasn't enough to support his family. His wife left him and he hasn't seen his children since. He was a good man with ideas and skills but ... he made the mistake of speaking to you as though you were a human being. Didn't he?"

Loki looked down, feeling a little humiliated and humbled. "Surely that's not the only reason she left..."

"He lost all hope and desire to go on after she left, "Tom interrupted, "perhaps if none of that had happened, he'd be spending Christmas with his teenage children by now. They were just toddlers when he last saw them."

Loki grimaced. "Is that all? Are we quite done here?" he asked softly.

"Not quite." Tom smiled. He put an arm around Loki and gave him a shove inside a doorway.

Loki stepped onto thick carpeting and his nose filled with the aroma of flowers. Soft music played in the background. Well at least this wasn't so bad. At least it was warm here and rather pleasant it seemed. However, it only took him a moment to look around to see that he was in a funeral home. Tom gestured to the double doors before them and Loki stepped through them slowly. Ahead of him, down an isle between empty chairs was a casket. In the first row of seats sat one man, and a young woman. The man sobbed. As Loki approached he saw that it was Thor. He looked at least ten or twelve years older and the woman beside him, holding his hand was what could be teen version of Tanya, maybe 19 or 20 years old even. 

"Uncle Thor.. please." she consoled him.

"I wish I'd been there... " Thor whispered, "...if I'd just been there with him... so he wouldn't have been alone." he sobbed.

Loki's stomach felt like it hit the floor. "Is it.... Steve?" he turned around and was met face to face with Tom, not budging. Tom only looked at him without saying a word. Loki's eyes widened and he looked more frantic,  "No... don't _do_ this." he warned the ghost.

Tom gave a single nod and gestured for him to go forward.

Loki had no choice but to turn back and step closer. He stood beside Thor looking down at him. Thor's hair was lighter, and the lines around his eyes much deeper now but damn if he still wasn't the most handsome thing Loki had ever set eyes on.  Loki's eyes swelled with unshed tears when he saw how distraught Thor was.

Thor stood and went to the casket. He sobbed out whispers that Loki could not hear. He didn't want to. He didn't want to go any closer to the casket.

"Why does he stay here after the funeral?" he asked of the ghost. "Why does he not just ... " he searched for words.

"This _is_ the funeral, Loki.  He is the only one to come with his daughter."

Loki looked back at Thor still standing near the casket and sobbing softly. He stepped closer to him, coming up behind his broad shoulders til he could see the figure in the casket that looked so peaceful and ... aged. Once jet black hair now nearly completely silver. It startled him to see himself looking so different. He wondered how he went. Apparently, he'd been alone and the last several years did not look good on him. 

 

Loki paused for another moment before spinning around and grabbing Tom by the lapels of his cloak and shaking him. "Alright... enough... _enough_! Why are you all showing me these things? Why show me this if I cannot _do_ anything about it?"

Tom only chuckled softly at Loki's rant. "No one said you cannot." he blinked and tilted his head. "This is your future as it stands now... one of many _possible_ futures."

Loki gripped the cloak tighter. "Tell me... _tell me_!" he shouted. "Tell me how to change all this!" he demanded loudly and angrily shook the man's lapels.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas everyone. Thanks for reading. I'm having a pretty shitty Christmas so writing this has helped distract me immensely. I hope it's enjoyed but even if not, I've enjoyed being able to write it.


	9. That's a Wrap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Loki finally get it? Or, will he be doomed to a future he's shown?

"Mr. Laufeyson!... Mr.. Laufeyson?" the cameraman stared wide-eyed at the show's Executive Producer as he had him by the shirt collar, shaking him mercilessly. "Nothing can be changed _now_! It's too _late.._ we go on in three _minutes!"_

"It _can be_ changed... it has to be... changed... it..." he stopped and looked around at the full staff and cast staring at him. He slowly let go once and he realized he wasn't gripping the lapels of the Ghost's cloak any longer, and was instead standing in a studio about to go into a live show in mere minutes. He stepped back and smooth the cameraman's shirt, then straightened his own tie and cleared his throat.

"Alright everyone... carry on... " he murmured.

Slowly, the cast and crew began to take their places and the whispers soon turned into chatter. Loki took his seat behind the cameras and watched everyone, still paranoid that it wasn't all real. He searched the faces for that of the Ghost he'd last seen until a voice from the control booth came over the speakers, "Alright everyone.. that's fifteen seconds! Places... places, everyone." he barked.

Loki glanced at his Rolex. He looked at his hand, to his empty finger where Thor would have slid that ring onto. He thought of how destroyed Thor had looked in the funeral home, sobbing over Loki's casket. He thought of poor little Tanya loosing her parents, and of that other man he'd seen that Thor had married. His heart was racing and though only seconds had passed, it felt like hours. He could feel a lump in his throat and his skin breaking into a sweat.

"And.. that's five... four... three... _two_... " the voice came over the loudspeaker. Loki looked up and the lit 'LIVE' sign was lit over the stage and doorways.

Loki jumped to his feet and practically leapt over everything and everyone in his path to get on the set, knocking over the cue-card boy in the process. Everyone looked on in horror, the cast, about to deliver their first lines were mute, simply staring at the Executive standing, wide-eyed on the set in spot lights, his face pale.

" _Shit_." the director whispered behind camera two.

 

 

At the Outreach Shelter, televisions were tuned to ASG-Direct to enjoy the live Christmas show. They were gathered around sitting on cushions, blankets, coats, benches and folding chairs. The staff, Thor included, had provided popcorn, soft drinks and hot chocolate. There was plenty of babbling and chatter among the full room of people but one by one, the room began to go silent until everyone stopped and looked blankly at the television sets.  

It got Thor's attention as he'd never heard so many people go quiet for the annual live tv show before. He looked up from what he was doing, pouring cups of hot cocoa, and stepped closer to the nearest television. "Loki?" he whispered. His heart raced as he watched as seconds passed without Loki doing or saying anything.

"Isn't that... the guy you were dating a while back?" an older staff member asked, recognizing Thor's ex-boyfriend that used to come volunteer at the shelter a handful of times. Thor just nodded slowly, his eyes not leaving the picture.

 

 

"Somebody get him out of there." hissed the director.

"Hello everyone." Loki finally said right into the camera. "I know you're all expecting to see a live show and ... you're going to see one, I assure you... but first.. I have to just say something."

Everyone from the director to the cue card boys were face palming. In the control booth, there was an argument going on as to whether or not to cut and go to commercial. "No..... no, let him go... the ratings are going through the roof... leave him on." ordered the control manager as everyone in the control booth watched back and forth between the monitors and the live set through the windows over the stage.  "Get another spot light on him." he ordered.

The light came up in the studio and Loki squinted a bit and raised his hand to wave to the control booth, "Oh... that's bright but.. thank you... yes." he turned back toward the camera and looked into it's lens. "I've been.... well, let's face it.. " he huffed, "I've been an asshole. To all of you... " he gestured around the room. "I've been pretty awful for.... for a very long time in fact. I want to apologize." he stated sincerely. "To you.... " he looked over at Natasha, his assistant, "Natasha... come here...." he waved her over.

She shook her head frantically, "NO" she mouthed but he went to her and pulled her onto the set.

"This is Natasha... my assistant, and she is my right hand." he smiled and took her hand, "and my left." he teased and turned to her. "Thank you for putting up with me.... and I know it's because you need this job, not because you like me. I dont' blame you. I've been horrible to you. I intend to make that up to you post haste... beginning with a raise and ... whatever time off you need to be with your mother." he assured her.

She gawked at him in disbelief but eventually smiled. "Thank you." she gushed.

Loki turned around and addressed everyone in the studio. "I'm afraid I cannot offer all of you a raise... but... I think some bonuses can be arranged to be given out at the wrap up party tonight." he promised. Everyone broke into a soft cheer which grew as it dawned on each person that Loki was serious. He turned back towards the camera and pointed into it, "And you.. if you're out there Gordon Smallfish... you still have your job. I'm sorry for firing you so close to Christmas and... I'm sorry for firing you at all. You have good ideas and ... I was too proud and too arrogant to listen... but you come back here day after tomorrow and you have your job... and your bonus." he grinned.

Again, the set erupted into cheers.

 

"Though... I'm not sure I'll have one after tonight..." he mumbled. 

 

 The cheering was contagious right through the camera lenses and those at the shelter chimed in as well. Thor was stunned but smiling all the same. This was the Loki he knew many, many years ago and he was grateful to see him back, if for no other reason than for Loki's sake.

At Sif and Fandral's home, they too watched and were trying to call and text Thor frantically.

'Turn on ASG's live show!!!' Fan texted. 'Are you watching this???'

 

"There's one more person I owe an apology to." Loki continued. He stepped toward the camera and looked directly into it, his green eyes sparkling and a bit wet. "Someone that ... I was very unfair to. Someone that didnt' deserve the way I treated him a long time ago, nor recently... and I want to tell him that I'm sorry." he paused and wiped a tear from his eye as he smiled. "Thor...." he continued.

 

 

The shelter workers and patrons erupted into cheers, those standing closest to Thor gripped his shoulders and patted him on the back. Thor's eyes filled with tears as he watched and everyone around him shushed those that were cheering so as to hear the tv, pointing the remote at each one to turn it up.

 

 

"Thor... I'm so sorry... will you forgive me?" Loki asked.

 

Thor didn't have to look for his coat, it was being put on him before he could even move to look for it. "Go to him, honey." the elder shelter worker said and shooed him out the door. He hailed a cab and on the way to the studio, texted back Fandral. 'On my way to meet him! :)'

 

"I've been missing so much," Loki continued, "missing life and missing _love_ and I don't want to do that anymore. There's so much _more_ to life than just... making money. It means nothing if you have so much and give so little... or give nothing at all. So all of you out there, ... if you have someone or know someone that needs.... reach out. Help however you can. If you don't have the money, offer your company, or talents or.... just _be_ there. If you have someone that you have let slip through your fingers, you have to _try_. You never know what a difference you might make. You don't know the future but you can make a difference... you _can_... just _say_ something... do _something_... just reach out and try to do something good. " he pleaded. He knew he probably sounded crazy and he didn't care. He was so filled with a sense of true love and true Christmas spirit, he wanted to laugh and cry all at once. He had been given a gift of insight and he'd be damned if he was going to throw such a valuable gift away. He'd been given a second chance.

 

The show went on, albeit a little delayed, to which no one, not even the sponsors seemed to mind. Fifteen minutes into the show, Thor rushed onto the set during a commercial break. He found Loki right away amidst a group of employees, happily signing off on Christmas bonuses and talking with Natasha about how he could best help her with her mother's illness. As though a beam of light came into the room, he looked in Thor's direction as soon as the man entered. They rushed to one another and embraced.

"Loki... Loki... are you alright?" Thor gushed, holding Loki's lovely face in his large hands.

"Thor... my love.." he leaned in and kissed him chastely, "I've never been better..." and was promptly kissed again. "I've been such a fool... a complete and utter fool.... will you.... _can_ you forgive me?"

"Forgive you?" Thor replied, his smile broad and his eyes bright a wet. "On one condition." he answered, with a sparkle in his eye that only Loki would know. "Come with me... if you can't now... later?"

Loki looked around for a second and took Thor's hand. "Now... right now."

 

In the cab on way to their destination, Loki promised Thor that he'd take care of whatever medical bills that Tanya had. Thor couldn't understand how Loki knew so much of her condition but didn't question Loki's offers knowing that Sif and Fan would be most grateful, as would he. They soon pulled up in front of the little Chinese food restaurant with the apartment above where Thor still lived.

Loki smiled. "You didn't move?"

"I thought to.... it was painful to remain here after you left but... I'm hardly here anyway." he confessed. He took Loki's hand and they went inside and ran up the steps to the door of the apartment on the second floor. Thor made quick work of the lock and barged inside the neatly kept three room flat. There was a small table top tree on an end table in the corner and electric candles in the two windows that looked out onto the street. Everything was exactly the same as what it had been when Loki left. "Wait here." he said and kissed him again.

"Hurry." Loki whispered, holding Thor's hand as long as their arms could extend til their fingers parted.

Thor rushed into the bedroom. Some movement could be heard and then he was back again in seconds. He stood before Loki again, then dropped to his knee and looked up at him. Loki gasped, a soft wet sound came from his throat as his eyes filled again and he let out a huffed laugh.

Thor held a tiny box in his hands and opened it, not taking his eyes off of Loki until he pulled from the box a sparkling emerald and diamond ring. He held it up between two fingers. "It's nine years late... but this is my condition." he murmured. "Will you..."

"YES..." Loki cried. "Yes... yes... " and pulled Thor up by his wrists and kissed him passionately. "I love you, Thor... I love you ... I've never stopped loving you." he whispered and held the large man tightly.

Thor smiled, then laughed and kissed Loki like a starved man getting his first meal in ages. "Nor have I you, Loki."

 

 

 

 

* Happy Christmas*

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay.. despite all the issues going on in my life at the moment, I finished it by Christmas. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. I'm sure it doesn't meet everyone's expectations but it's my first go at a fic so I hope I have more in me.  
> This was a Christmas gift to my friend and rp partner, Terri, who hangs in there with me through many troubles in both our lives.


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